|
welcome to uncle thom's cabin.
version 1.1.7 as of 10:33 AM 8/20/2009 (MST)
best viewed in mozilla firefox
and 800x600 (SVGA) resolution.
posted (12.11.2008)
at [10:28 PM]
so a door walks into a bar...
(perma-link)
open the door, close the door, lock the door. i am now pleased to turn to the mirror and stare at my appearance. i frequently catch myself making faces of disgust or ridiculously absurd impressions. i'll rub my hair, check status of face, and proceed onto the next room. open the door, close the door, lock the door.
this, ladies and gentlemen, is the joys of a bathroom i.e. indoor plumbing.
every time i find myself relieving myself, i can't help but notice how quaint and cozy it is to have two doors leading to the toilet. i'd like to imagine that i'm in a horror film where the slasher with an axe breaks down the first door to find the second door, and in a fit of bloody rage, chops a hole in the door and screams "HERE'S JOHNNY!".
but obscure jack nicholson references aside, i was thinking about how awesome it would be to apply this double-door magic to the real world, and by real world, i mean my front door. if i ever designed my house, the front door would go directly to a tiny room you could barely stretch your arms in. there would be a fancy, but not magnificent light hanging from the ceiling, and three doors on the three remaining walls. each door would lead to either a bathroom, a coat closet, and then the rest of the house, but you can't know which door is which because it all depends on the total structure of the house. ideally, the house door would be the one right in front of you, but you can't always get what you want, am i right?
but obscure rolling stones references aside, i would totally do whatever it would take to accomplish this little limbo-esque room in my house, at least within the total budget of the house. that way, if any axe-slinging villains broke my front door, at least i would be spared several seconds in their hesitation to choose the right door. of course, the second house door would have a lock on it, so the killer would have to resort to chopping a hole in the door and screaming "HERE'S JOHNNY!". but only if was jack nicholson.
love your uncle thom
2 comments
| 
