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welcome to uncle thom's cabin.
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posted (3.11.2009)
at [3:23 PM]
cowboys eating pizza
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never before have truer words been spoken: that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. and it was only until today that it dawned on me how stinking profound that was.
i mean think about it. if something doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. right now you're probably sitting on your couch, queasy macbook in your lap, maybe one hand laying strayed over the couch reaching for a bag of funyuns. is that lazy sly motion from bag to mouth going to kill you? of course not! and, that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger. not only the back and forth motion be feeble exercise to your shrimpy arms, if any, the funyuns should provide some nutritional value. unless someone laced them with cyanide. but, then again, that would probably kill you. that which does not make you stronger only kills you.
unless, maybe you survive this terrible attack. with a headache, of course. it will only make you stronger. because you'll discover the secret killer was none other than your roommate, and he'll go to court.
of course, getting stronger is not limited to eating funyuns. the general rule of thumb is that if it doesn't kill you, then you will be stronger. any mundane task could make you stronger. for example, getting off your lazy butt, walking to the garbage can, throwing the funyuns away on your already over-flowing trashcan, getting a yelp from your angsty roommate to dump it already, groaning draMATically, picking up the trash can, opening the door, closing the door, walking down the 3 flights of stairs to get to the dumpster, lifting the trash can over your head in such a lame manner it would make paris hilton weep, shaking vigorously, moving the trash can to rest position, sighing at the futility of life, walking back up the 3 flights of stairs, opening the door, closing the door, returning the garbage can back to its humble roots, walking back to the couch, grunting to pick up your macbook, and reading this blog post. i could list detailed examples for every item on that list but that is much too mundane.
speaking of mundane, you could probably whine at all these tasks that don't have an immediate benefit to making you stronger (and not killing you), but i provide a blanket statement to any and all tasks: mind-wandering. you see, humans as a race are generally prone to many mundane tasks throughout the day. and what are you going to do with all this free time, you pitiful consequence of the gene pool? that's right, daydream. don't lie, you do it all the time. and so does the rest of humanity.
this is exactly the thesis of my blog post. its all this raw brain power we have lying around that's no good to us. i've tried to incorporate elements of this power in day-to-day conversation, but it comes out as quirky and terribly random:
(guy 1 and me are both working on an assignment. yes, high school is mundane)
guy 1: yeah, so, that's how you beat the forest temple.
me: ha. i'm still stuck in that place. this is gonna be a beast to finish...
guy 1: heh, yeah.
(sub-awkward silence [sub-awkward are the silences that have a lot of potential to be awkward but just don't on the account of people publicly announcing the silence is awkward, or lack there of.], but we are both too caught up with rushing to complete this assignment, this teacher doesn't really tell you when things are due, and expects you to read her mind when they should be. i remember once i had a dream about this girl i really didn't like in like 3rd grade and she taught me how to read minds. it was in the library, i remember. she was reading this brown leather-bound book, probably about mind reading, haha. i wonder how they invented leather...)
me: hey, you know how they invented leather?
guy 1: ....? wtf?
love your uncle thom
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