welcome to uncle thom's cabin.
version 1.1.7 as of 10:33 AM 8/20/2009 (MST)
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at [9:46 PM]
the corner street homeless
it's been a while, friends.
i've been so caught up with the real world that i've lost all sight of the important things in life. i've been taking for granted the luxury of varied meals, the friendliness of family, and the psychology of humanity as a whole all for so long...only to forget the thing that matters most: blogging.
that's right, blogging. people have been telling me how sad it is to see me forget time after time to update my blog. as you probably know, it takes anywhere from days to months for me to write a entry!
as i was rummaging through my drafts and rough-drafts on this blog, i laughed quietly to myself at all the ideas i have stowed away, in the digital-cardboard boxes of the internet, packed away, waiting for their day to see daylight. it's truly sad how terrible i am at sustaining life in any of my projects.
you may or may not have known this, but i have actually attempted to start several blogs in my past (one by the name of black or pinto beans, you may or may not have heard of it). however, each of these attempts loses their novelty and fades into obscurity time after time. you probably did not know that each time i post on this blog, it is not just one or several giggles unheard throughout the world, but it is another attempt at resurrection, the last leg of the never-ending marathon, the quiet defibrillation of my productivity (or, the quiet cardiac-arrest of my laziness).
with this last major blog update, i bring this source code into version 1.1.6. i've completely removed that irritating navigator that i thought was so fantastic at the time, and also cluttered up the sidebar, considerably. this is the most critical update i've ever had so far in the history of this blog. it brings the blog one step away from simplicity and novel cozyness, and one step towards organization and mainstream limelight.
so, what do you think of the update? i would love to read any comments on it.
love your uncle thom
at [2:22 PM]
long time no post
my manager at my undisclosed place of work, is a prick.
while he was essentially chewing me out for not living up to his ultimate expectations of his vision/dream of the workplace, he broke two health code rules.
count 'em, TWO.
needless to say, i wasn't going to call him out right then and there for scratching his nose or answering his phone, because it's simply not my place to cite people for health code violations, let alone in the workplace, let alone while my manager is giving me a brief lecture on the seemingly-basic principles of offering toppings to a customer.
what could have easily been a several-minute encounter actually provided me with a whole 15 minute break of where I could mind-numbingly nod my head and say yes in all the right places, smirking to myself as i realized that what i was about to do could be delayed further and given me more time to myself to contemplate methods of mutiny.
don't get me wrong, my place of work is very exciting, and very entertaining, but these kinds of things can't be bottled up inside for very long, at least comically.
love your uncle thom
at [6:27 PM]
the effects of pencils in outer space
when there isn't much to do in your pitiful existence, you tend to get fatter. it's true. i mean, look at america. you don't think we got fat because we actually LIKE mcdonalds, do you? good heavens.
this is why i spend much of my free time in the kitchen. it's a wholesome environment, the phone is only a few steps away, the paper is right there in front of me, and nothing is more enlightening than reading a real life newspaper (contrary to the beliefs that my peers would like me to believe, that the newspaper format is dying and slowly being replaced by the superior internet).
something that has baffled me about our kitchen is our strange hybrid between cupboards and drawers. chances are you haven't been in my kitchen, so let me briefly explain. in most houses, you have cupboards and drawers. by cupboards, i mean two wooden panels covering a shelved area. it's not exactly rocket science. our house is slightly different. opening a 'cupboard' will reveal two shelves that slide out, providing easy access to the random cocktail of kitchen devices underneath, i.e. belgian waffle toasters, panini grills, there's probably a george foreman in there too, etc etc.
initially you'd think this was a good idea. but after thinking about this, it's not. why didn't they just put drawers in instead of this cupboard/drawer madness? why do i have to open a cupboard to open even more drawers? it's not like they are trying to hide the ugliness of the drawers; cupboards aren't more aesthetically eye pleasing than drawers, last i checked.
upon this realization, i stopped my nifty hybrid cupboard thoughts and started thinking of the most efficient way to remove these from my house under my parent's noses. this will definitely require a carpenter.
love your uncle thom
at [3:23 PM]
cowboys eating pizza
never before have truer words been spoken: that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. and it was only until today that it dawned on me how stinking profound that was.
i mean think about it. if something doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. right now you're probably sitting on your couch, queasy macbook in your lap, maybe one hand laying strayed over the couch reaching for a bag of funyuns. is that lazy sly motion from bag to mouth going to kill you? of course not! and, that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger. not only the back and forth motion be feeble exercise to your shrimpy arms, if any, the funyuns should provide some nutritional value. unless someone laced them with cyanide. but, then again, that would probably kill you. that which does not make you stronger only kills you.
unless, maybe you survive this terrible attack. with a headache, of course. it will only make you stronger. because you'll discover the secret killer was none other than your roommate, and he'll go to court.
of course, getting stronger is not limited to eating funyuns. the general rule of thumb is that if it doesn't kill you, then you will be stronger. any mundane task could make you stronger. for example, getting off your lazy butt, walking to the garbage can, throwing the funyuns away on your already over-flowing trashcan, getting a yelp from your angsty roommate to dump it already, groaning draMATically, picking up the trash can, opening the door, closing the door, walking down the 3 flights of stairs to get to the dumpster, lifting the trash can over your head in such a lame manner it would make paris hilton weep, shaking vigorously, moving the trash can to rest position, sighing at the futility of life, walking back up the 3 flights of stairs, opening the door, closing the door, returning the garbage can back to its humble roots, walking back to the couch, grunting to pick up your macbook, and reading this blog post. i could list detailed examples for every item on that list but that is much too mundane.
speaking of mundane, you could probably whine at all these tasks that don't have an immediate benefit to making you stronger (and not killing you), but i provide a blanket statement to any and all tasks: mind-wandering. you see, humans as a race are generally prone to many mundane tasks throughout the day. and what are you going to do with all this free time, you pitiful consequence of the gene pool? that's right, daydream. don't lie, you do it all the time. and so does the rest of humanity.
this is exactly the thesis of my blog post. its all this raw brain power we have lying around that's no good to us. i've tried to incorporate elements of this power in day-to-day conversation, but it comes out as quirky and terribly random:
(guy 1 and me are both working on an assignment. yes, high school is mundane)
guy 1: yeah, so, that's how you beat the forest temple.
me: ha. i'm still stuck in that place. this is gonna be a beast to finish...
guy 1: heh, yeah.
(sub-awkward silence [sub-awkward are the silences that have a lot of potential to be awkward but just don't on the account of people publicly announcing the silence is awkward, or lack there of.], but we are both too caught up with rushing to complete this assignment, this teacher doesn't really tell you when things are due, and expects you to read her mind when they should be. i remember once i had a dream about this girl i really didn't like in like 3rd grade and she taught me how to read minds. it was in the library, i remember. she was reading this brown leather-bound book, probably about mind reading, haha. i wonder how they invented leather...)
me: hey, you know how they invented leather?
guy 1: ....? wtf?
love your uncle thom
at [5:14 PM]
it is march
boredom is a great fuel for productivity. i got a head start on a lot of my homework today and i feel fresh.
and, now i'm even more bored.
the problem with boredom is that if you don't have any ounce of creativity you can't get anything done. unless it's something mundane, like pre-AP test packets or super mario galaxy. which is why blogging is hard under this unique situation.
i guess one could call it writer's block.
new tab, wikipedia, march. i mean, c'mon, with a new month you need some new ideas. did you know that this month is not only women's history month, but also fire prevention month, and red cross month? that's just so awesome.
maybe if i'm in a better mood tomorrow, i'll write a more meaningful update. until then, i love you all (talking to the invisible crowd of people).
love your uncle thom